Install Theme

Turned 21 on the 8th… Drank my weight in champagne & danced all night with wild, strange women… That’s nothing new… I’m proud, yet unsure, of who I’m becoming. God, help me

"Bourgeoisie ghetto"

Notice me

Today I observed myself doing something that I always do, trying to make a great impression, be glamorous, and enticing, for men specifically, and for the first time I questioned my intentions… Why do I need to feel beautiful to these men who mean nothing to me? Why do I care if they think of me as sexy or fuckable? Why do I ponder on having sex with almost every man who looks in my direction & double takes? Am I that desperate for affection? For companionship? For love? Or for a quick hook-up? No, I’m not. I like to think of myself as focused on my future but something in me is begging for male attention. Today I stopped myself once I noticed what I was doing. I stopped smirking at the man who was talking with me, I stopped being attentive, and tried my hardest to “look dull”. I don’t even know what I was getting at but all I knew was that I had to change my thoughts, change my body language, and turn off my sexy in order to try to take this man seriously and have him think of me as more than whatever he had imagined in his mind. I couldn’t focus after I took notice to my behavior and now I can’t seem to grasp what it is in me or why is it that I need validation from men that I’m sexy, that they are imagining me in bed…

They say a picture can capture your soul… I don’t take selfies often just because of that superstition. Fuck all this vanity & nonsense nowadays… If I take a photo of myself, I make damn sure you see me as me, not simply what’s appealing to this society…

Simply stunning

Falling in love

with everything.
Everything is art & my lust is derived from the root of just being…

I wish I remembered NYE…

Break free from pattern. Love yourself, it’s threatening. Harness your unique sex energy & awaken multidimensional awareness, providing yourself every desire.

I’m so ready for 2014.

Resolutions:
Please myself.
Travel consistently.
Flourish in my career.
Unleash & express my passions.
Conquer and grow glamorously.

I have to express myself.

My affection is easily allocated
but to give myself away to you would leave my heart perforated.

Bleeding out what is me,
patching the holes with what we could be…

Selfless. Myself lost.
Now I’m regretful accessing the replacement costs…

I’ll never let her go again just to let you come in.

Paying homage to Linda Evangelista.

Spent Wednesday-Friday in Washington with Destiney turning up.